Today marks the start of Anti Bullying Week. Bullying is typically associated with school and the playground, but it’s something that can be experienced by anyone at any point in their lives. As an adult, how can you recognise bullying behaviour and what can you do to manage it?
 
Adult bullies will usually have a pattern of abusive behaviour. This behaviour may include:

• being verbally or physically aggressive
  
• being dismissive or ignoring
• using displays of power to intimidate or silence
• belittling
• undermining
• ostracising or excluding

 
Ultimately, these bullying behaviours are used with a desire to hurt another person and/or to gain a sense of power or control.
 
You may experience bullying from people you know at home, at work, in relationships, from friends or from social acquaintances such as neighbours. Or it can be from individuals you don’t know such as sales people or online trolls. Bullying behaviour doesn’t have to be done face-to-face. It can also happen by telephone, email, text message, letter and/or social media. And it can be carried out by groups as well as individuals.
 
Adult bullies can often be more subtle in how and when they bully others than childhood bullies. They may hide their behaviour behind public displays of kindness or generosity. Or they may be shielded by their authority, money or power. As a result, it may not be apparent to those around you that you’re being bullied.
 
If you experience bullying, there are things you can do.
 
1) Tell someone
 
Speak to someone you trust and let them know what’s happening. This can feel difficult to do as bullying can create feelings of shame, guilt, fear and embarrassment. You may also feel isolated from others and have reduced self-confidence and self-esteem. But continuing to be silent allows bullies to view their behaviour is succeeding. By regaining your voice, you are regaining control.
 
You could speak to a friend, family member, counsellor or to a confidential helpline such as the National Bullying Helpline. Additional sources of support for bullying in the workplace (depending on who in the workplace is bullying you) include colleagues, your line manager, the Human Resources team, a trade union representative or ACAS.
 
If you have fears for your safety you can also contact the police, a legal representative, or ring 999.
 
2) Keep a record
 
Keep a note of times, dates and places where the bullying takes place. And keep copies of written communication. This may be useful for any supervisory/disciplinary/legal proceedings.
 
3) Get witnesses
 
If possible, arrange for someone to be nearby when you know you’re going to see the bully, so they can see/overhear the encounter. Not only will this be helpful in any proceedings against them, it can also make you feel less alone.
 
4) Don’t react
 
Bullies often look to provoke a reaction. By remaining calm and in control you are removing a potential stimulus for their aggression and provocation. Likewise, being assertive will help to counter bullies who are looking to dominate and make you submissive to their demands.
 
5) Remember your rights
 
You have a right to feel safe and respected. You are entitled to have and to express your own opinions and needs. And you have a right to be happy. If another person is intentionally doing something that’s preventing any of these, tell someone and seek help and support. And remind yourself that no-one is entitled to control your life except you.

Happy World Mental Health Day! Each year, on 10th October, the World Health Organisation holds World Mental Health Day with the aim of raising awareness of mental health issues. This year’s theme is Mental Health in the Workplace.
 
A starting point for improving mental wellbeing at work is to think about your work-life balance. If it feels like work is taking over your life and impacting on your overall happiness, here are some top tips for improving your work-life balance.
 
Set a work-life balance goal
 
Think about your current work-life balance and what you’d like it to be. Do they match? If not, it’s time to make some changes. Remember, everybody has their own idea of what the perfect balance is, so there’s no set percentage to aim for. Your goal might also need to be flexible through the year depending on what’s going on in your work/personal life.
 
Don’t confuse work and home spaces
 
If you work from home try to find a separate space that’s just for work. It’s easier to mentally step away from work if you can shut the door on it and walk away. Working from home in bed might seem like a great alternative to the office, but if you start associating your relaxation space with work it can be harder to switch off.
 
Leave work at work
 
Replying to messages before bed? Finishing off a project on your laptop at 11pm? Have a clear cut off time for stopping work. And when you get to it, shut down your computer, turn off your work phone and focus on you. And on that point…
 
Stop checking emails
 
Smartphones have made work accessible to us 24/7. But do you really need to read your boss’s latest thoughts on a project over the weekend? Probably not. The simplest solution is to delete your work email account off your phone, either permanently or outside of work hours. If your job means you have to regularly access your emails, try setting designated times for checking and turn down the volume on your notifications instead.
 
Work smarter, not longer
 
Could you reduce the number of hours you work by being more productive while you’re actually at work? As a starting point, try turning off email notifications on your computer so you’re not tempted to interrupt what you’re doing to check your inbox. Doing this breaks concentration and increases the chances of being distracted into another task.
 
Start a to-do list
 
At the end of each day write down your main priorities for the next day. It can be helpful to have a master to-do list and take selected tasks off it each day. Think about what’s realistically achievable in the time you’ve got. And if your workload is unpredictable, make allowances for the possibility of being given more urgent, unforeseen tasks to complete when planning out your time.
 
Think good enough rather than perfect
 
Are you putting extra pressure on yourself when you don’t need to? The quest for perfectionism can fuel stress levels and increase the feeling of being overworked. Go easier on yourself. Don’t think about whether a piece of work is perfect, but whether it’s good enough. Good enough is OK.
 
Take breaks
 
Plan regular time through your day to have a break. If you feel like you don’t have time for a break, remember you’ll almost certainly be more productive after 10 minutes of fresh air. As well as daily breaks and lunchtimes, plan time off work in regular intervals throughout the year. You don’t need to be jetting off somewhere exotic each time (although obviously that would be lovely), just taking time out of work can be restful.
 
Say no and ask for help
 
Do you find yourself saying yes to everything people ask you to do and taking on more work than you can cope with? If this sounds familiar, it’s time to start saying no and asking for help. Think about whether or not you can do what’s being asked of you before saying yes. If you can’t do it, be clear about saying no. And if the demands being placed on you are too high, look at your workload to see whether you can delegate. Or speak to your manager about getting additional support, extending deadlines or passing selected tasks over to someone else.
 
Take time for you
 
Exercise, leisure activities and friendships are all things that provide the balance with your working life. But when work gets busy they’re often the first things that get sacrificed. Taking time for self-care is hugely important for good mental health. It reduces stress levels, clears your mind and gives you chance to relax. Combine this with eating well and getting a good night’s sleep, and you’ll be well on the way to achieving a positive work-life balance.
 
Read more about How Self-Care Can Improve Your Mental Health.